Making sense of jargon: Ridiculous real estate lingo
An easy way to get a headache is to look through real estate listings. Long, overly descriptive paragraphs fill ads, while obscure words can send you scrambling for the
thesaurus just to find out what style a house is. By the time you get your head around which architect designed the built-in wardrobes and which century inspired the window sills, the house has been sold, settled and rented out.
The property team has selected its pick of double talk in real estate ads this week.
Ridiculous real estate lingo:
Executive family entertainer with views. Embracing a stylish designer vibe, that takes full advantage of spectacular CBD skyline panoramas; this spacious fifth-floor
apartment promotes old-world family living in a modern urban retreat.
Translated: This property is on the fifth floor, has views of skyscrapers, was built recently and you can probably squeeze a family in there.
Inspired by its natural surrounds and glorious views, sophisticated interiors incorporate masses of floor to ceiling glass fully utilising the perfect north aspect.
Translated: The wall facing the best views has large windows.
A breezy open plan lounge and dining area features a pitched ceiling with skylights to maximise natural light. Glass bi-folds hark to the gentle beckon of a generous, paved,
Romanesque court garden.
Translated: The living room has enough space for a dining table. There are windows in the ceiling. There is a balcony with some plants outside.
The gourmet kitchen is an elegant workspace boasting stone bench tops and sleek, contemporary Miele appliances, including integrated chilled humidor unit and crockery
Translated: The kitchen has stone bench tops and includes a popular brand of fridge and dishwasher.
The three double-bedrooms feature built-in robes and romantic bay windows, with outward facing sills to enhance drainage and anti-defenestration security.
Translated: There are three bedrooms, with wardrobes and windows. The windows can be locked.
The gleaming updated bathroom is well placed and features an integrated laundry.
Translated: The bathroom is inside the property and doubles as a laundry because there wasn’t enough room for both.
The complex caters for both security appreciating motorists and off the beaten track enthusiasts, with a choice of undercover and alfresco car spaces.
Translated: You get one car spot underneath, but if you have another car, you will need to find a park on the street.
A whimsical stroll along the Parisian end of the street conveys the family to boutique amenities, including fine dining venues, recreational arenas, everyday lifestyle needs
and comprehensive public transport services.
Translated: The shops, a café and a park are within walking distance. There is a bus stop a block up the road.
Expressions of interest are welcome. Inspections are by appointment.
Translated: Call us.